


by wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established

by surpanakha



Series: Resurrection [3]
Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: F/F, Soft Girlfriends, Some fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25350889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surpanakha/pseuds/surpanakha
Summary: Beatrice takes a bold step in her relationship with Ava, and the halo bearer is clueless on what to do. A little drama ensuesPS. I suck at summaries
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Series: Resurrection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824592
Comments: 25
Kudos: 384





	by wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third and penultimate part of the Resurrection series. It picks up from where Part I. Though Shalt Not Lie left off. I meant the first two parts to be twin, companion works exploring the incidents around Beatrice and Ava's first kiss.
> 
> This part, and the last, will also be twin, companion works, this time exploring the incidents around the first time they make love.

The first few weeks that Beatrice was back was all about borrowed time - stolen kisses in the hallways, holding each other’s gaze two seconds too long during combat training, and hand-holding under the table during lunch if they could help it. Beatrice was an addiction Ava didn’t know she had, and she found every excuse to touch her. The halo bearer would always pick Beatrice as a sparring partner, jokingly making the excuse that Lilith would just try to maim her for life. She’s always ready with a reassuring hand stroking at Beatrice’ arm or shoulder whenever the ex-nun finds a Latin phrase that is a little bit difficult to translate, or when their recent attempts to track Father Vincent and Adriel prove futile. 

As far as Ava was concerned, Beatrice was the same, hands ready to caress her face during training to look for scratches and injury even when she knows the halo would heal its bearer. In the evenings, they would sneak into each other’s room after dinner to make out or to watch movies on Beatrice’ laptop. Tonight, they were in Ava’s room. The two sat with their backs on the wall as they watched The Matrix. It was one of Ava’s favorite movies growing up at the orphanage when one of the nicer nuns would put it on the DVD player for her. She used to imagine St. Michael’s as the pod, and would daydream about entering The Matrix, and becoming a badass heroine with superpowers. Kind of like what she was right now.

Beatrice was watching intently, her right arm draped around Ava’s waist and her left supporting her head. They shared a bowl of popcorn as Ava lay her head on Beatrice’ chest. Well, Ava was doing most of the eating. 

This, right here, with Beatrice, is the best place Ava’s been her whole life.

“Why won’t you get some?” Ava asked, with a mouthful of kernel, nudging the bowl towards the other woman.

“I told you to grab lightly salted, you got white cheddar,” Beatrice replied, keeping her eyes on the screen. The two had volunteered to do the grocery shopping for the week as an excuse to be alone. 

“If I wanted to eat cardboard, I would have gnawed at my bedposts,” Ava groaned, stuffing her mouth with some more popcorn.

“Our bed frames are made of ash wood to ward off evil spirits, not cardboard,” Beatrice replied. “And our training regimen requires nutrition with a strict macro count.”

“Fine,” Ava replied, putting down the bowl. On second thought, she picked it up once again. “Let me just finish this one last bag.” Ava glanced at Beatrice. She was shaking her head but a tiny smile formed on her lips that made Ava go weak. She couldn’t help but give Beatrice a light kiss, which Beatrice returned with more force upon tasting Ava’s salty lips. 

The movie continued in the background as Beatrice wrapped both of her arms around Ava’s waist who now had her torso turned to her, a leg draped on top of both of her own.

“Wait,” Beatrice said breathlessly as she broke the kiss. “Tell me if this is about to turn into a full-blown session because let’s pause the movie. I haven’t seen it.”

“Umm,” Ava considered. Her eyes suddenly lit up.

“What?” Beatrice said, knowing by that look that Ava was up to something. The halo bearer closed the lid of Beatrice’ laptop.

“Since you are so adamant about calorie counting,” Ava started.

“Macro counting,” Beatrice corrected.

“Fine,” Ava replied. “Let’s go burn some!”

Beatrice eyes widened and Ava saw her throat move as she swallowed a lump.

“No, no, no, nothing of that sort,” Ava said, fearing that Beatrice has misinterpreted her intentions to be less pure. “Not that I don’t want to, I want to…badly,” Ava added with a nervous laugh.

“Just say it, Ava,” Beatrice said.

“I was just going to suggest that we take an evening run, go outside, get some fresh air, see the stars above Iberia,” Ava said, intertwining her fingers with Beatrice.

“The stars?” Beatrice said suspiciously.

“Fine, I want to get you alone, okay? I want to kiss you somewhere I don’t have to watch out if someone opens the door. Come on, it would be fun. When was the last time you went for a jog?” Ava said, resting her head on the crook of Beatrice’ neck. Still the same peony and blush cologne. She took a sniff.

“Umm, every day, before dawn, for the past five years?” Beatrice replied. “When was the last time you went for a jog?”

“Only when Lilith is the training instructor because she makes us go rounds,” Ava replied. 

“So what makes you think you can keep up with me?” Beatrice teased. She bolted up from the bed to challenge Ava.

“I’m just going to change into my workout clothes, first to the gate gets to pick the movie for tomorrow!” Beatrice exclaimed, and with that, she dashed out of Ava’s room

Ava quickly made for her closet to change into a white dri-fit shirt and a pair of black yoga shorts. She made haste with her socks and sneakers and then ran for the gates of the convent.

Beatrice was already there with her back turned to her. She was wearing a pair of gray joggers, and a black tank top. Her hair, which has grown longer, was pulled in a bun, little bobby pins holding up the stray tendrils. Both her hands were on her hips, and Ava slowed down to admire every line of muscle in her toned arms illuminated by the moonlight.

Beatrice turned her head as she heard footsteps approaching.

“Hey,” Beatrice said, smiling. “I get to pick Insidious.”

“Again?” Ava tried to feign annoyance. That movie no longer scared her after watching it three times, but she loved how the seemingly fearless Beatrice would cower behind her shoulder during the jump scare scenes that she should have memorized by now. Ava could hardly complain. 

A lump got caught in Ava’s throat as she admired Beatrice’ profile.

“What route do you want to take?,” Beatrice asked, approaching Ava.

“I’m thinking down and up that other hill, and then downhill again to the beach, and then the length of the beach to the boardwalk. Maybe we can sit down by the boardwalk and dangle our feet in the ocean to rest. And then we go back. It will take probably an hour,” Ava estimated. 

Beatrice scoffed. “I can do that route in thirty minutes.”

“Well then you wait up for me, missy, this is not a race, it’s a date,” Ava said.

“A date? I like the sound of that,” Beatrice blushed. 

Ava raced past Beatrice. “Last to the bottom of the hill buys ice cream!,” she yelled.

“I haven’t any money on me!” Beatrice replied as she ran after the halo bearer.

xxx

Ava licked at her vanilla cone with a satisfying smirk at Beatrice who just shook her head with a smile. They were sitting at the edge of the boardwalk, their feet dangling in the air.

“I still can’t believe you got me this cone for free, I really thought you were flirting with that shopkeeper. I was ready to smite him,” Ava said, leaning against Beatrice’ torso.

“I told you I haven’t any money on me, did you want your ice cream or not?” Beatrice chuckled into Ava’s nape.

“I deserved it, I beat you to the bottom of the hill,” Ava replied.

“I really don’t think tumbling over and falling down all the way to the bottom of the hill counts as running,” Beatrice replied. 

“I didn’t say we had to run,” Ava added, finishing her cone. 

“It’s getting late, we have to wake up early tomorrow, you know Mary’s even stricter than Lilith when she’s the instructor. Let’s go,” Beatrice said.

Ava groaned and leaned in deeper into Beatrice’ body. “Awww, must we? I don’t need shooting practice, I have the halo.”

“Ava,” Beatrice began. “No skills are beneath you. What will you do when you’re put in a situation that you can’t use the halo? Like when it’s depleted. You can’t rely on it all the time.” She stood up and held out a hand to the halo bearer.

“I know,” Ava replied. “Hey, when do you plan to give your aikido lessons again? I love watching you all authoritative,” Ava said as they walked down the boardwalk to the beach hand in hand.

“I’ve been busy lately. Soon, maybe,” Beatrice replied. 

“Well, why don’t you just give me a private lesson, huh?,” Ava flirted. She turned to Beatrice to wrap her arms around her neck. Beatrice placed hers on Ava’s waist and gave the halo bearer a kiss. Ava tried to enjoy this unplanned excursion as much as she could. Beatrice does not flirt with her this freely back at the convent unless they are alone, and Ava understood. She, herself, was not religious, yet even she was weirded out by statues of saints and mosaics of angels to even be affectionate with Beatrice in front of them. What more for a person who previously took the vows?

It’s not that they couldn’t tell their friends about what they were doing behind closed doors. Ava was sure that Mary, Camila, or even Lilith, would think nothing of it. It’s just that Beatrice has never really told anyone else the secret she’s been keeping, and Ava knew it was a difficult first step. Right now, Ava made do with stolen moments of Beatrice’ glorious lips on hers. 

“Chicas, chichas, why don’t you let me join you?” Ava heard the voice of a man nearby and Beatrice froze in her arms.

“I have something that your girlfriend can’t give you,” a drunk, red-headed man who wore a white shirt twice his size, and a pair of cargo pants addressed Ava. He took a step forward but Beatrice put herself in between the man and the halo bearer. Ava could now smell the liquor in his breath.

“Sir, you are drunk. I advise that you go home and leave us alone,” Beatrice said.

“I ain’t talking to you,” the man replied. “Dyke,” he added at Beatrice’ face. Ava felt the sister warrior’s back stiffen at the slur.

“What did you call her?!” Ava said, now stepping forward and losing her cool. She felt the halo on start to heat up and could see its faint glow in her periphery. 

Beatrice placed a light hand on her back. “Ava,” she warned, and then shook her head. Right there and then, Beatrice crouched and swiped her right leg at the man’s ankle, causing him to tumble face down into the sand with a groan. She then took Ava’s hand.

“Come on,” she commanded, leading Ava away from the beach and sprinting back to a shorter route to the bottom of the hill on top of which the Cat’s Cradle was situated. Beatrice ran even further, all the way to the convent, and Ava was forced to follow her even as she felt her legs would give out during the uphill climb. Beatrice led both of them to her own room. Ava panted, hands on her knees, as she closed the door.

“I’m sorry, I, are you going to scold me? I wasn’t activating the halo. It just reacted to my anger when that man called you a, called you a...,” Ava struggled to continue. She knew how uneasy Beatrice was at uttering the word ‘Lesbich,’ and felt how her back automatically stiffened at being called dyke. 

“Most of the time I could control it, it no longer reacts to my emotions that much. Except, I guess, when it comes to you,” Ava replied. The halo bearer stared at Beatrice who has not spoken yet. There was a dark look in her otherwise soft brown eyes. Her chest rose and fell heavily, and beads of sweat lined her strong arms. Bits of hair fell loose from her bobby pins and framed her flushed face. Even after running away from perverts, Beatrice was breathtaking.

‘Not a really good time to be horny, Ava,’ the halo bearer warned herself. Suddenly she was being slammed to the wall and Beatrice’ lips were on hers. Her hands fumbled at the waistband of Ava’s shorts, tugging them down. Beatrice’ arms were sticky with sweat, but even the perspiration on her skin seemed to amplify the peony and blush notes that drove Ava mad. She pushed Beatrice to the bed, straddling her hips and lifting the hem of her shirt. That was when the halo bearer felt hands on her wrists stopping her.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asked as she tried to kiss Beatrice’ neck. The other girl sat up. “Sorry, I thought you wanted to.”

“Oh God, I want to,” Beatrice replied, looking up at the ceiling. “Seeing your halo react when that man used that language on me got me so riled up and…”

“Horny,” Ava continued for Beatrice. The other girl nodded. “But…?”

“It’s just does not feel appropriate to do it in a convent,” Beatrice replied.

“I understand, all the weird saints’ eyes following you in every direction,” Ava made a motion of her hands. She got up from Beatrice’ lap and sat beside her on the bed.

“It’s not just that. I kind of want my first time with you to be somewhere special,” Beatrice replied. “Because you are special.” 

“Of course,” Ava replied, remembering how her first time was in a ferry closet. “You deserve nothing less,” she planted a kiss on Beatrice’ cheek. “You want to get a hotel room or something?,” Ava joked, raising her brows up and down at Beatrice. The other girl chuckled.

Ava distanced herself a bit from the other girl, feeling like she was overstaying her welcome.

“You want me to go back to my room now?” she asked.

“No, not yet,” Beatrice replied.

“Oooh, wanna spoon instead?,” Ava said, encouraged. She draped an arm around Beatrice’ waist.

“Yes, but you stink,” Beatrice replied. “Why don’t you take a shower first?”

xxx

Ava strode into Cat’s Cradle library the following morning, bagel and coffee in hand. She found Beatrice on one of the desks by the window, intently poring into an ancient-looking book. She set down the food beside the other woman and rumpled the ends of her hair. 

“Hey, I didn’t see you at target practice,” Ava greeted her.

“Target shooting will not really add anything to my current skill set,” Beatrice replied, looking up from what she was reading.

“What happened to no skill beneath you?,” Ava said.

“It’s not that it’s beneath me. It’s just that I am certified marksman, and Mary is not. I might as well have given that lesson,” Beatrice replied. “But don’t tell her I told you that,” she added with a wink.

“Ooooh, I didn’t know that?,” Ava eyed Beatrice knowingly and messed with the ends of her hair once more. She heard the sound of someone clearing their throat from across the table and realized that they had company.

“Camila, I didn’t see you there,” Ava greeted her friend.

“Good morning to you, too, Ava,” Camila replied. The nun, herself, had several tomes of ancient-looking books spread before her. 

“So, what are we looking into?,” Ava asked, plopping down on a wooden chair next to Beatrice. 

“Back to the drawing board,” Beatrice sighed. “Adriel and Father Vincent’s been awfully silent these past few months. We still can’t locate them and we don’t know what they are planning.”

“So might as well study the only other mystery in our hands. The Ostium. It may hold the key to Adriel,” Camila finished.

“Is that why I was summoned here?” Ava asked. “I’m not exactly the research type.”

“I just want you both to recount what happened in the Ostium,” Camila replied.

“We both already made our accounts…,” Ava started.

“I know, but it still doesn’t make sense how you were able to come back just because both of you chose to. In her account, Sister Lagrimas reported that she and Sister Lusiana had both tried to come back, but the messenger won’t let them. Only one could pass through, and only one could return. So it must not have been that simple. There must have been some source of power, something stronger than death itself!” Camila interrupted.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Camila, there is no such thing. Unless you are Christ, himself,” Beatrice replied. 

“Or Lazarus, ha!, even I know that,” Ava pointed out.

“Who rose from the dead because of the Christ,” Beatrice retorted.

“You must have missed something in your accounts, or there is something you are not telling us,” Camila replied, stopping the banter. At that, Ava and Beatrice threw each other a side glance.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to figure it out. Just remember, this is the only clue we have to anything. At all! And I am getting desperate,” Camila said with a huff. She closed the journal of the Warrior Nun and left the library in a hurry.

“Forgive her, Sister Camila has yet to learn the virtue of patience,” Beatrice said.

“Could it be true? What we are withholding from them, the fact that we professed love to one another and kissed in the Ostium, could it be the key to defeating Adriel?,” Ava surmised.

“You mean could love be the key to defeating evil?,” Beatrice replied with a chuckle.

“Don’t tease me. This is one of the rare times I’m being serious,” Ava pouted. “Maybe we should finally tell them.”

She sensed a shift in Beatrice’ disposition. “What’s there to tell?” she said. “That we are friends that occasionally kiss?”

“Are you in a mood?” Ava asked Beatrice as she placed a finger on her arm. She didn’t know if the ex-nun was taking a jab at her. About a week since she returned, she asked Ava if she wanted to finally discuss what they are to each other. Ava was afraid that defining their relationship would ruin the honeymoon stage, and since her instinct was flight, not fight, she pretended not to hear.

“Sorry, I…,” Beatrice started. “I kept replaying what that man called me last night in my head. It’s what I feared being called for most of my life, of people finding out and labeling me with that word when I tried hard to be so much more. To hear him say that to my face with ease, it felt like I just let him have power over me.”

Ava was silent. She felt that there was more to it than Beatrice was telling so she allowed her to continue.

“And to hear him call me your girlfriend, and then call me that word so hatefully…you had to risk exposing yourself and the halo because I could not react instinctively. I did not know where to place myself in that moment because you are not my girlfriend but you mean so much more to me, and for that, I put you and the order in danger,” Beatrice explained.

Ava took Beatrice’ hand and let her rest her head on her shoulder. She did not know that she had been feeling this way all along. The halo bearer berated herself. Typical, selfish Ava, wanting to keep Beatrice to herself without having to commit. Beatrice deserved more.

“Darling?” Ava said. Beatrice looked up at that rare term of endearment. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” At that, the other girl sat up.

“Are you not just asking me that because you feel sorry for me?,” Beatrice asked her with a wary eye.

“No. I want you to be sure of me. I don’t want you to ever second guess defending who we are again. And I want you to know that I am sure of you. Of us,” Ava replied. She saw Beatrice’ eyes light up. She gave her girlfriend a swift kiss, unsure if they are being watched. 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Beatrice replied. 

xxx

The halo bearer felt uneasy the rest of the day. Her girlfriend had been out to accompany Lilith at ArqTech, where Jillian Salvius was performing periodic tests on the sister warrior to shed light on what happened to her when she was dragged to hell. The OCS knew that it was not altruism on the part of the scientist, but an effort to find out where her son Michael has gone and to join him. It was symbiosis.

Ava was feeling guilty. She remembered how Beatrice had stopped herself last night when they were about to make love for the first time no matter how much she wanted it because she needed the moment to be special. She should have at least prepared something nice for Beatrice before popping the question. With the way she asked her to be her girlfriend this morning, she can’t blame the other girl for thinking that it was only out of pity.

It was almost dinner time, and she snuck into her small tomato and herb garden, which has since then expanded to cut flowers. She examined the red roses she has just transplanted last week, selecting the plumpest and reddest bulbs to cut. Ava heard footsteps behind her just as she was about to cut the stem of the first rose she chose and she jumped.

“God, Mary, you scared me!” Ava said, clutching her chest with one hand and hiding the scissors behind her back with the other.

“Usually, when someone reacts like that, they’re involved in mischief. What are you doing cutting flowers from the convent’s gardens?,” Mary asked.

“First of all, these are my flowers, I planted them and I take care of them,” Ava started.

“No, I don’t think it works that way,” Mary replied.

“Second of all, I was going to place these flowers at the altar of the Virgin…,” Ava continued.

“Oh, bullshit,” Mary replied. “I know who likes roses, though. Beatrice.”

Ava hesitated. “You knew? Beatrice told you?”

“She didn’t need to tell me anything. I got it all figured out,” Mary replied. 

“So, what about it? Are you here to tell me to stay away from her?” Ava asked, defensive. 

“Of course not. I can see what you mean to each other. And I haven’t seen Beatrice smile as much as since she returned,” Mary started. “I guess you know Beatrice well by now, and I don’t want you to feel like I’m giving you a crash course on her.”

Mary led Ava to one of the stone benches concealed by orange trees to talk.

“Beatrice may think she is the mother of our group, and with respect to OCS and the mission, she is indeed like that: mature, level-headed, pragmatic. But when it comes to real life, she is still a baby. She won’t have any idea how to do it, being sheltered by her parents in childhood, shipped off to boarding school in her youth, and concealed in a convent since she was sixteen,” Mary continued. Ava was silent as she sat beside her friend.

“And I’ve seen you the first few weeks after you became the halo bearer. I know that you feel like you have so many years of your life to make up for, but, please don’t rush Beatrice,” Mary continued.

“I don’t, I’m taking my time. I don’t know how to do real life, either, don’t make me sound like some predator,” Ava replied.

“I’m sorry I’m making you feel that way. But this just has to be said. You know Beatrice, her greatest fear is failure. Without meaning to, you might pressure her into things just because she’s afraid to fail you. She will do everything because she’s afraid to lose value,” Mary said. “I’m just concerned. For both of you,” she added.

“Why are you telling me this?,” Ava asked.

“Because I want you to do it properly. I see something special in both of you. And if I’m allowed to infer, what you have might have something to do with how you both got out of the Ostium,” Mary said. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. You just tell Camila about it as soon as you’re ready. She’s been puzzling over it for months, and it might help us in our fight against Adriel, maybe even locate him, find out how to beat him.”

“Thank you, Mary,” Ava replied. Mary just nodded at the halo bearer, gave her a quick slap on the arm, and left her alone to her thoughts.

xxx

Ava texted Beatrice to come over ten minutes ago, and she was getting fidgety until she heard a soft knock on her door, followed by her girlfriend’s voice.

“Ava? I received your message.” 

“Hey, you and Lilith just got back?” Ava greeted Beatrice as she opened and closed the door for her. 

“Yeah,” Beatrice replied, sitting down gracefully at the foot of Ava’s bed. “Salvius performed a battery of tests on her, I honestly don’t know if she has any clue what she’s doing.”

“I’m sorry, Beatrice,” Ava started.

“For what?” Beatrice replied with a worried look on her face.

“For this morning, I-,” Ava said.

“Oh, you’re taking it back. If y-you’re not ready to be my girlfriend yet, I totally understand,” Beatrice replied with a smile that Ava knew was not genuine.

“No, it’s not that. Can you stay put?,” Ava replied. She lit three pine-scented candles by her bedside table and turned off the lights. Beside the candles was a Bluetooth speaker and Ava’s phone. She pulled up a playlist on Spotify and chose the first song.

“Is this the playlist I made for you?” Beatrice asked recognizing the songs on the playlist. Ava ignored her and went to her closet to take out a bouquet of flowers. The halo bearer approached Beatrice on the bed and knelt down in front of her. 

She then began reading something handwritten on her left palm, squinting against the candlelight.

“Beatrice, you made my heart sigh the first moment I ever laid eyes on you. At first I thought it was because I was looking at a beautiful face, but it became something more than that. You were the first to make me feel like family, despite my flaws. You made phasing through twenty feet of rock worth it because I knew that on the other side, there you would be welcoming me in your arms. You gave me my life back with a kiss, and you gave it direction,” Ava said.

The halo bearer pulled a black leather string in the center of the bouquet. In the middle of it rested a golden circle pendant with a hollow middle.

“I saw this pendant and remembered the halo. I feel like it is no longer just mine, but is something we share. I hope you wear it to remind you of what we went through, and what we overcame together,” Ava said. “I’m sorry I just rushed to the mall this afternoon, and I could only afford the pendant. I’ll buy you a real chain as soon as I have the money.”

Beatrice placed a kiss on Ava’s lips. Tears were already forming around her eyes.

“It’s perfect, would you please put it on me?,” she asked. Beatrice stood up and helped Ava to her feet. She took the bouquet and turned her back to the halo bearer as she smelled the roses. Ava placed the necklace around Beatrice’ neck and then closed the clasp. The pendant rested warmly against her chest.

“Beatrice,” Ava started as the other girl turned to face her once again. “Would you do me the honor of being completely mine? Would you be my girlfriend?”

Beatrice place her flowers on the bed and lifted the halo bearer several inches off the floor.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Beatrice replied, punctuating each yes with a kiss. “You big dork, I didn’t think you could be this romantic,” she added, putting her girlfriend down.

“Well, years of watching Lifetime movies while in bed does make one sappy,” Ava replied. “I love you, Beatrice.”

“I love you, too, Ava,” Beatrice replied with a real smile. “I guess we’re official now.”

“I guess we are,” Ava said.

“You doing anything tomorrow?” Beatrice asked. She sat down and tapped the space next to her. Ava melted into her girlfriend, resting her head on her shoulder and playing with the halo pendant absently.

“No, tomorrow’s Saturday. Why?” she asked.

“I want to take you out,” Beatrice replied.

“Like you want to murder me or…,” Ava smiled, “you want to go on date with me.”

“Second one, definitely the second one,” Beatrice laughed.

“I would love that, Beatrice,” Ava replied.

“Okay, we are going on a date, then,” Beatrice said as she kissed the top of the halo bearer’s head. 

xxx

It was late in the afternoon. After finishing her chores and taking a shower, Ava prepared for her date with Beatrice. She donned on some of the nicer outfits she had: a green dress and a pair of black heels Chanel has loaned her and which she never got to return. She put on a light, pink lipstick on her lips, and trotted down the corridor to pick her girlfriend up from her room.

“Ava, you look stunning,” Beatrice said as she greeted her. She was wearing a white blazer over a white tank top, and a pair of white jeans. 

“And you’re an angel,” Ava replied. She spied the room behind Beatrice and noticed its bareness.

“Where are your things?” Ava started, but Beatrice pushed her outside the door and closed it behind her.

“Let’s go,” Beatrice said.

The pair barely encountered anyone as they walked to the gates of the convent. Most of the sisters were either retiring from the day’s work or helping prepare dinner. They continued walking downhill, and as soon as they were an appreciable distance from Cat’s Cradle, Beatrice draped her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

They approached the convent’s parking lot. Ava saw two black vans and a silver sedan parked there, as well as Mary’s motorcycle.

“Come, hop on,” Beatrice said, boarding the bike and passing a helmet to Ava.

“We are going out in this?” Ava asked.

“Yes, Mary lent it to me for tonight,” Beatrice replied. 

“I thought you didn’t know how to ride a bike,” Ava said as she took her seat behind her girlfriend.

“I learned, when I was in Copenhagen,” Beatrice replied. “When I was about to step into the arch back in the Ostium, I thought about all the things I never got to do, like learn how to ride a bike.”

“And kiss you,” she added, planting a soft one on her girlfriend’s lips.

Ava smiled as she placed on her helmet. She snaked her arms around her girlfriend’s waist to secure herself on top of the bike. Beatrice revved the engine and they were off.

Beatrice took her to a quaint night market by a river about thirty minutes from Cat’s Cradle. The pair tried out some free samples of various food and drink from different stalls before deciding on where to have dinner.

They ended up at a little Italian restaurant near the end of the market. The girlfriends dined al fresco as they watched some market goers dance spontaneously to the beat of a live guitar performance.

After dinner, they went on a stroll down the riverbank hand in hand as Ava licked at her ice cream cone. 

“I saw baklava, trice, even gelato, and you went for soft serve,” Beatrice said as they approached the parking lot.

“What? I love vanilla ice cream,” Ava replied. It was getting dark. She stuffed her mouth with the tip of the cone and took her place behind her girlfriend on the bike. 

Beatrice took the same route back, and Ava wondered whether the day was over. However, at about ten minutes to Cat’s Cradle, Beatrice took a left turn instead of going uphill.

They stopped at a two-story apartment complex standing at the cliff of one of the smaller hills in the area. 

“Come,” Beatrice said excitedly as they left the motorcycle in the car park. Ava saw three pink Moroccan style apartment buildings, two facing one another and the middle building adjacent to both. At the center of the complex was a courtyard and a pool lined by palm trees.

“You like it? There’s a tennis court and a gym at the back,” Beatrice explained as she lead Ava to the building on the right. 

“Who lives here? Are we visiting someone?” Ava said, confused, as she followed Beatrice up the stairs. The second floor of the building was a row of about eight rooms. Beatrice stopped in front of the third door from the staircase and placed a silver key in the knob, turning it to open the door. She stepped in and turned the lights on.

The door led to a living room. Ava saw a gray couch with blue throw pillows on top of a soft-looking white rug. The couch was in front a really huge flatscreen TV, the biggest one the halo bearer has ever seen, and beneath it, an electric fireplace. However, the TV seemed to be the only splurge item in the room. Every other furniture looked simple. A breakfast island separated the living room from the small circular four-seater dining set, and a spartan kitchen that housed a two-burner stove and a tall fridge. 

Ava stepped inside. The light blue walls were still bare, and all the decor were still probably inside the brown cardboard boxes at the foot of the largest window which she only now saw overlooked the pool, now lit by pool lights at the floor.

“What do you think?” Beatrice said, waving her arms around.

“What are we doing here, Beatrice?” Ava asked. “Who lives here?”

“I do. I just moved in most of my things yesterday,” Beatrice started.

“You’re leaving Cat’s Cradle?” Ava was surprised.

“Since I revoked my vows, I thought that it was finally time to get a place of my own. This complex is only ten minutes away from the convent, though, it would be easy to go back and forth,” Beatrice replied. “Think of it as going to work and returning home.”

“But, you’re leaving me?” Ava asked. She could not imagine nights at the Cat’s Cradle without sneaking into the other’s room for a movie and a cuddle.

“No, I’m not. I’m asking you to move in with me,” Beatrice replied. “I even got you this huge TV because I know how much you love to watch.”

“You haven’t seen the bedroom, the mattress is made of memory foam because I know how much you complain about your back,” Beatrice added. “And I chose this complex because of the pool. You told me how you wanted to learn how to swim.”

Ava was in awe at how carefully Beatrice thought everything out. Without even knowing it, she was already a part of this home Beatrice was creating. The thought overwhelmed her and she had to sit down at the couch. It was not the reaction Beatrice was expecting and she began to pace the room, uneasy.

“I-I just thought it would be nice to have a place of our own, you know? Not having to watch the door every time we kiss, not having to sneak back into our own rooms before the break of dawn. That felt pretty much like boarding school, and you’re not just a boarding school crush to me. And we can finally make love,” Beatrice explained.

Ava remained pensive.

‘Isn’t that just what I wanted, a home?’ Ava thought. ‘The freedom to move around, to pick the colors of my linen, to be with someone I love, so why can’t I say yes?’

‘Because Mary got into my head.’

‘YOU MIGHT PRESSURE HER INTO THINGS JUST BECAUSE SHE’S AFRAID TO FAIL YOU. SHE WILL DO EVERYTHING BECAUSE SHE’S AFRAID TO LOSE VALUE..,’ Mary’s words replayed in Ava’s mind. 

Fuck did she want this. She wanted nothing but to run and sweep Beatrice, loving, thoughtful, and mindful Beatrice, off her feet, carry her to the bedroom and make love to her on that memory foam mattress. But Mary just had to act as her voice of reason.

‘Bitch,’ Ava thought. Beatrice looked at her girlfriend expectantly.

“I have to admit, this is quite a curveball you threw at me,” Ava finally spoke, laughing nervously along the way.

“I’m sorry that I was not able to prepare you for this news,” Beatrice replied, sitting down beside Ava.

“I need to think about this for a while,” Ava said. “I hope you understand.”

If Beatrice was disappointed, she masked it with a smile. “Of course.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m rushing you,” Ava said, taking Beatrice’ hand. “I joked about getting a hotel room, and you got us an apartment. I don’t want you to feel like you have to impress me all the time for me to see you for who you are.”

At that, Beatrice took her hand back and stood up.

“Despite your lack of belief in the propriety of my motivations, I actually did get this apartment for myself,” Beatrice said bitterly. “I just built it in a way that you’ll hopefully also find a home here. Because I love you, and I want any place I am at to be your home.”

“Hey, I did not mean to sound like I don’t trust you,” Ava replied. “I just wanted to make sure.”

“That pretty much sounds like not trusting me,” Beatrice retorted. “I would have been okay with you not moving in with me at once. But to know that the reason is that you don’t trust me enough to know what I want for myself, I…,” Beatrice said and faltered. Rather than continuing, she faced away from her girlfriend.

Ava approached her from behind and touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Let me just take you home,” Beatrice said. “It’s getting late, and I have to get back here.”

Ava felt guilty at making Beatrice spend her first night in the apartment alone, but she knew her girlfriend would think it would only be out of pity if she offered to stay the night.

They left the apartment complex and rode in silence for the next ten minutes. Just before the gates of the convent, Ava asked Beatrice to stop. The halo bearer got off the bike.

“I can walk from here,” she said, handing over her helmet to Beatrice.

“You sure?” Beatrice asked. Ava nodded.

“Can you come over here?” Ava said, stepping backward until her back hit the wall. Beatrice parked the bike, got off, and approached her girlfriend who snaked her arms around her neck. The pair was concealed behind a line of peach trees.

“Are we in a fight?,” Ava asked sadly.

“No, this is just a misunderstanding, and we’re both tired,” Beatrice reassured her, placing her hands on Ava’s waist and resting her forehead against her girlfriend’s. The two kissed beneath the shadow of the wall cast by the moon. 

“I’ll miss you here, I’ll miss knowing that you’re just three rooms away as I sleep,” Ava said as she broke the kiss.

“I’ll call you when I get home, okay? And wait for you to sleep on the phone,” Beatrice offered.

“Goodnight darling, I’ll see you tomorrow?,” Ava asked.

“Tomorrow, my love,” Beatrice replied.

xxx

It was almost one in the morning when Ava strode into the lounge in her pajamas. She could not sleep thinking about how Beatrice was alone right now in the apartment when she expected them to at least spend the night. Mary was by the fireplace, oiling her shotgun.

‘Oh no, here she is again, my voice of reason,’ Ava thought as she plopped down one of the couches.

“You look downtrodden, where’s Beatrice?” Mary asked, looking up from her task.

“I put her to sleep, just got off the phone with her,” Ava replied.

“You talk to each other on the phone even when she’s just there?,” Mary asked, intrigued.

“No, she, she moved out of Cat’s Cradle today,” Ava said.

“And what of my bike?” Mary looked at Ava suspiciously.

“She took it to her new apartment but she’s gonna be back later in the morning, don’t worry,” Ava replied. 

“So why ain’t you with her in her new place?” Mary asked, putting the gun down and sitting back.

“She asked me to move in with her, Mary!” Ava replied as she placed her head on her hands. It has been throbbing since she returned to the convent.

“And?,” Mary asked.

“I was almost going to say yes, but you got into my head,” Ava replied.

“Woah, woah, woah, how is that my fault now?,” Mary said.

“We, we almost had sex the other night, but she felt like it was weird to do it in a convent. Of course, I understood. And then I joke about getting a hotel room and now she got us an apartment,” Ava said. “Sounds very much like what you said about Beatrice not wanting to fail people because she’s afraid she’s going to lose her value.”

“You joking about the hotel room, when did that happen?,” Mary asked.

“Uh, two days ago?” Ava replied.

“Ava, she’s had the lease over that apartment for at least three weeks now,” Mary replied. “I helped her move some of her things.”

“What? Why would she hide something like this from me?” Ava replied, hurt.

“Maybe she fears that you won’t trust her enough that she knows what’s best for her, pretty much like right now,” Mary suggested. “Look, I know what I said, and it’s still good advice as any, but what do you really want? 

“Of course I want to live with her, be someplace we can call our own without having to always sneak around,” Ava replied.

“Isn’t that what she asked you to do?” Mary said.

“Yes, but I don’t know if this is what’s good for her. And what if I can’t pull my own weight? Moving in together, that’s real life, I don’t know how to do it either. What about rent? Where do I get the money to give my share? Should I get a day job now?” Ava rambled.

“Being a Warrior Nun is your day job, and don’t worry about money, Beatrice is a trust fund baby,” Mary replied.

“But what is that stops, if her parents find out about us…and then she’ll realizes that I’m dead weight..,” Ava could not continue. Mary sighed and moved over to the couch where the halo bearer was sitting.

“See, you are not too different from one another. Both insecure, both wanting the best for the other even if you had to sacrifice your own happiness, I bet that kind of thing happened when you were in the Ostium, too,” Mary said.

“Yes, it did. She was about to step into the arch to save me, and I was ready to die just to bring her back,” Ava admitted. It was the first time she told another soul.

“And how did you solve that problem?” Mary asked.

“We decided what we both wanted and that was to go back together…..Mary, you’re a genius!” Ava squealed.

“Nah, you two are just dumbasses, well you’re a dumbass most of the time, Beatrice is a dumbass in love,” Mary said, tapping the halo bearer on the shoulder. 

“I know I told you not to rush her, but that is totally different from walking on eggshells around her and second-guessing her all the time. You are her girlfriend, not her mother. She’s had too much of that all her life,” Mary said. “If you don’t want to move in with her because it’s too fast for you, that’s fine, but trust that she knows what she wants for herself.”

“Thank you, Mary, for all your help,” Ava replied.

“No big deal. Now you go make it right,” Mary said.

Ava ran towards the door of the lounge.

“Hold up! Where are you going?” Mary asked as Ava bolted.

“To do what you said, make it right,” Ava replied.

“Nah-uh, it’s too late, in the morning when she returns to Cat’s Cradle,” Mary said, shaking her head.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for making it until the end! Please leave a comment as they help me go on :)


End file.
